Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Canuck Avoids Depression Despite Men's Hockey Loss

VANCOUVER -- Harold Saber's father was a Mountie and his favorite band is The Tragically Hip. He has a maple leaf patch on his duffel and he can't understand why health care isn't a right even though he is considered a conservative.

Despite his bona fide Canadian roots, Saber was seen whistling on Tuesday, less than 48 hours after the Canadian men's hockey team lost to the United States, 5-3 in a stunning upset that, according to NBC, sunk the entire country into a deep depression.

When asked by NBC sportscaster Mary Carillo why he was able to maintain such a cheerful demeanor after the tragic loss, Saber, appeared surprised. "It's too bad, but it's just a game, eh?" he said.

"Just a game?" Carillo asked, incredulously. "But you're Canadian. It's hockey. Isn't your very sense of identity and self-esteen tied up in the fate of the team?"

"They've still got other games, and a shot at the gold," Saber replied with remarkable composure.

Saber's prediction proved accurate, as Canada was able to regroup with handy wins over Germany and Russia, respectively. Carillo spoke with Saber again on Thursday and questioned whether "he had just been in shock Tuesday and the enormity of Canada's loss had finally sunk in?"

But the plucky Canuck said he was far more emotionally invested in figure skater Joannie Rochette, who took to the ice Tuesday night just two days after her mother died of a heart attack.

Carillo remained skeptical. "If it's true that he really doesn't feel crushed by Canada's loss, he'd be well to keep it to himself, Bob," she reported. "Just like the Dutch speed skating fan that I saw the other day who was not wearing orange, or the Russian who was not upset over Plushenko's silver medal."

Although NBC would not confirm it, Carillo is reportedly working on a feature of Russian Olympians who were not plucked from small villages and sent to Moscow to train at age 8 and hadn't seen their parents -- who still toil in factories for 12 hours a day -- in seven years.

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