Thursday, December 23, 2010

Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds Disappoint Tabloids with Classy Marriage, Divorce

Hollywood stars Scarlett Johansson and Ryan Reynolds made their split official Thursday as they filed for divorce a mere two years after their top-secret marriage in Canada two years ago. While the dissolution of their union has led some to cluck their tongues disapprovingly at short-lived "Hollywood marriages," their discreet handling of their relationship and lack sexting with a Vegas stripper or acrimonious alimony fight has left gossip sites and tabloids devoid of material.

"First they screwed us by getting married in the woods in Canada. No $100,000 of roses flown in from Ecuador, no arrival on an elephant, no 'Save the Date' card with harsh demands of utmost secrecy that's conveniently leaked to People Magazine," said photographer Alvin Wood, as he waited outside of a Studio City Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf that Britney Spears often frequents. "Then they refused to gush about how great their sex life was once they were married. And now I hear from the reporters that they can't even get their 'close friends' to dish about how Ryan was emotionally distant or that Scarlett had a fling with [Iron Man 2 costar] Robert Downey, Jr."

Johansson was vacationing with girl friends in Jamaica when news of their split was broke, but the only pictures paparazzo were able to snap showed her with a shirt over her swimsuit. Usually, said Wood, celebrities go out of their way to show how happy they are post-split. "That means frolicking on the beach in a skimpy bikini while laughing uproariously, often with friends of the opposite gender. See: Cameron Diaz, Paris Hilton."

The lack of rancor has had economic ramifications beyond just gossip sites. The manager for Kitson, a boutique favored by A-list reality TV stars hoping to become B-list actresses, said that no one had requested a "Team Reynolds" or "Team Johansson" shirt. "We still sell 20 'Team Aniston' and 'Team Jolie' T-shirts each week, but nobody really cares about picking sides in their case," said the manager.

"It's hard to even feel much Schadenfreude about them," said Harvey Levin, editor of, a gossip site renowned for posting unflattering pictures and information about celebrities. "Ryan has that nice Canadian thing going for him and Scarlett campaigned for Obama before it was the super cool thing to do."

Reynolds and Johansson met for a friendly dinner shortly before filing for divorce but onlookers said they were careful not to touch each other or do anything that could be construed as canoodling. They have since continued their low key lifestyles, with Reynolds and Johansson expected to spend Christmas with their families -- however calls to their publicists to inquire about their holiday plans were not returned.