LOS ANGELES -- Recently wedded reality television star Khloé Kardashian and Lakers basketball player Lamar Odom confessed Wednesday that they had struggled with the "seven day itch" but after intensive counseling had returned to wedded bliss.
Kardashian and Odom married Sept. 27 after a whirlwind month-long courtship that made Tom Cruise's pre-engagement pursuit of Katie Holmes appear protracted.
"The first day was awesome," Kardashian said. "That was our honeymoon and we totally lived it up -- we hung out at Chateau Marmont and watched the sunset and learned deep things about each other, like our favorite colors and middle names."
The couple's speedy nuptials raised a few eyebrows, with one guest overheard saying, "Since I have a year to give the wedding present I'll just wait and they'll probably be divorced before then." But Odom insisted that the marriage was one for the ages, even as his lawyer put triplicate copies of an 11th hour prenup in a fire-, water- and nuclear-attack resistant safe.
Among the trials the now-seasoned couple will have to face include Odom's frequent travels for road games. They already had a trial separation when Kardashian had to spend the better part of a morning at the dentist in order to prepare for her upcoming media appearances to tout her teeth whitening pen, Idol White.
The restlessness Kardashian and Odom felt after their week of marriage typically takes longer to occur -- seven years, as memorably documented in The Seven Year Itch, a popular 1955 movie starring Marilyn Monroe and Tom Ewell. But Kardashian and Odom said that their intense love for each other has made them experience everything at warp speed.
The trouble started one week after their marriage when they went out to dinner at Cut, Wolfgang Puck's popular Beverly Hills steakhouse. Kardashian, who has posed for PETA and does not eat red meat, said she was astounded and shocked when Odom ordered the 34 ounce porterhouse steak and ate it all. "I told him that he should have ordered the kobe beef. At least those cows got to drink beer and have daily deep tissue massages."
Odom, in turn, was turned off by Kardashian's constant texting with sister Kim, who was sitting at their same table. The situation escalated to a full-scale crisis when the waiter winked at Kardashian and Odom caught her twittering "OMG, at CUT and waiter is SO HOT." He retaliated by giving a fan who asked to take a picture with the famous trio a peck on the cheek.
Odom ended up spending the night at friend Ron Artest's house while Kardashian shared a suite at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel with her sister. But by 2:30 a.m., the distraught and lonely couple called Dr. Phil, who gave them tips on how to reinvigorate their marriage.
With their marriage now into the double digit day mark and going strong, Kardashian and Odom say that they are considering writing an advice book on relationships to help other couples whose marriages have gone stale.
They're also taking time to celebrate other milestones, like Odom's first regular season exhibition game as a married man. "We're going to renew our vows at the All-Star break," Odom said mistily.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Liberal Keeps Support for DeLay in the Closet
COLUMBIA, S.C. – Martin Bell attended Berkeley in the 1960’s, is a proud card-carrying member of SCETV and flies to San Francisco every year to attend the Gay Pride Parade wearing a Speedo, chaps and not much else.
But Bell — who asked that his real name not be used for fear of ostracization by his friends and associates — has a dirty secret: He voted for Tom DeLay during the first week of Dancing with the Stars.
The vote for the former conservative House Majority Leader from Texas came despite DeLay standing on the opposite side of every social and public policy issue that Bell holds dear.
“My head said ‘no’ but my heart said ‘you sexy devil,’” Bell admitted shamefacedly, of watching DeLay’s cha cha cha. “I was smitten from the moment he started playing the air guitar and I lost it when he started lip crooning ‘Wild Thing.’ And that slide on the floor? Magic.”
A professor at a local university and a faculty adviser for the College Democrats, Bell watched the first week’s episode of Dancing with the Stars with some of his young political proteges. They took turns booing and throwing darts at a DeLay headshot whenever he appeared on the television.
Bell said that he also took part in the booing and he recoiled at DeLay’s comment that “I got to get prissy.” But DeLay’s dancing was so captivating that he snuck away during the commercial break to text his vote for DeLay and professional partner Cheryl Burke, despite fingers that trembled so badly he could barely type the numbers. He also spent all night voting for the couple online, then spent an hour figuring out how to delete his browsing history so that the Dancing with the Stars website would not pop up and alert his partner to his ideological infidelity.
Keeping his support for the notoriously divisive Republican a secret is important so as not to disillusion his young charges, Bell said. “It’s a responsibility I take quite seriously. There are all these nascent liberal minds and I don’t want them to think that it’s okay to vote for a man who doesn’t believe in evolution; who tried to pack K street with his Republican cronies; and who worked to impeach Clinton.”
He also worries about disappointing his parents. “My dad was on the Hollywood blacklist and Silent Spring was my mom’s Bible,” Bell said. “I don’t even want to think about how horrified they would be.”
Bell has agonized over how to break his infatuation with DeLay. He told the student group that he was busy in the upcoming week and wouldn’t be able to attend the viewing, but says that he has a sinking feeling that he won’t be able to help himself from watching the show at home. And he’s afraid to talk to his conservative colleagues whose politics align with DeLay for fear of being outed as a hypocrite.
One possibility is to seek counseling from a centrist Democratic friend who expressed mild admiration for DeLay’s lack of inhibition on the dance floor in an offhanded remark. This friend has a wayward tendency towards the center, even pondering a vote for Republican John McCain in the 2000 election after disgust over the South Carolina primary. “My friend flirted with the devil, but he came back,” Bell said. “I’m hopeful that someday I will overcome this perverted obsession too.”
Salty Caramel is also a guest correspondent for The Discust. This article can also be found at thediscust.com.
But Bell — who asked that his real name not be used for fear of ostracization by his friends and associates — has a dirty secret: He voted for Tom DeLay during the first week of Dancing with the Stars.
The vote for the former conservative House Majority Leader from Texas came despite DeLay standing on the opposite side of every social and public policy issue that Bell holds dear.
“My head said ‘no’ but my heart said ‘you sexy devil,’” Bell admitted shamefacedly, of watching DeLay’s cha cha cha. “I was smitten from the moment he started playing the air guitar and I lost it when he started lip crooning ‘Wild Thing.’ And that slide on the floor? Magic.”
A professor at a local university and a faculty adviser for the College Democrats, Bell watched the first week’s episode of Dancing with the Stars with some of his young political proteges. They took turns booing and throwing darts at a DeLay headshot whenever he appeared on the television.
Bell said that he also took part in the booing and he recoiled at DeLay’s comment that “I got to get prissy.” But DeLay’s dancing was so captivating that he snuck away during the commercial break to text his vote for DeLay and professional partner Cheryl Burke, despite fingers that trembled so badly he could barely type the numbers. He also spent all night voting for the couple online, then spent an hour figuring out how to delete his browsing history so that the Dancing with the Stars website would not pop up and alert his partner to his ideological infidelity.
Keeping his support for the notoriously divisive Republican a secret is important so as not to disillusion his young charges, Bell said. “It’s a responsibility I take quite seriously. There are all these nascent liberal minds and I don’t want them to think that it’s okay to vote for a man who doesn’t believe in evolution; who tried to pack K street with his Republican cronies; and who worked to impeach Clinton.”
He also worries about disappointing his parents. “My dad was on the Hollywood blacklist and Silent Spring was my mom’s Bible,” Bell said. “I don’t even want to think about how horrified they would be.”
Bell has agonized over how to break his infatuation with DeLay. He told the student group that he was busy in the upcoming week and wouldn’t be able to attend the viewing, but says that he has a sinking feeling that he won’t be able to help himself from watching the show at home. And he’s afraid to talk to his conservative colleagues whose politics align with DeLay for fear of being outed as a hypocrite.
One possibility is to seek counseling from a centrist Democratic friend who expressed mild admiration for DeLay’s lack of inhibition on the dance floor in an offhanded remark. This friend has a wayward tendency towards the center, even pondering a vote for Republican John McCain in the 2000 election after disgust over the South Carolina primary. “My friend flirted with the devil, but he came back,” Bell said. “I’m hopeful that someday I will overcome this perverted obsession too.”
Salty Caramel is also a guest correspondent for The Discust. This article can also be found at thediscust.com.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Woman Stays Thirty-Eight by Not Posting Birthday on Facebook
SEATTLE -- Linda Ramsey has spent hundreds of dollars on anti-wrinkle creams and costly sunscreens in order to maintain her fading youth. But she recently hit on a free way to defy aging: she erased her birthday on Facebook.
"September 21st came and went without a single person other than my mom wishing me a happy birthday," Ramsey said triumphantly. "Even my brother forgot."
Ramsey says she hit on the idea last year when she realized that 90 percent of her birthday wishes came via Facebook and when she herself failed to wish a friend happy birthday because she was sick for a few days and neglected to log in to Facebook and see the birthday reminder.
It was important to eliminate her birthday while she was still 38 years, Ramsey decided, because trying to pass off her age as 39 years for a prolonged period of time would naturally arouse suspicion.
While her close friends might potentially have her birthday written down somewhere or even know her birthday from memory, Ramsey said it was easy to keep casual friends and acquaintances from knowing her true birthday by always telling them that her birthday was six months off from whatever the current month was. That way, they didn't usually press her on a specific date, and anyway, everyone assumed that she would have it on Facebook.
Ramsey admitted that there was a downside to not aging. "I was a little bummed that I had to eat my birthday cake alone. And last year eight people sent me virtual cakes, but I actually didn't miss those that much."
Ramsey's childhood friend, Samantha Anderson, was surprised and mildly chagrined when told of the missed birthday. "I knew it was around now because it always came about a month after we started school and five weeks before Halloween."
"I don't know how people remembered pre-Facebook. Of course in the olden days people didn't have 600 friends so it was a lot easier," Anderson added defensively.
"September 21st came and went without a single person other than my mom wishing me a happy birthday," Ramsey said triumphantly. "Even my brother forgot."
Ramsey says she hit on the idea last year when she realized that 90 percent of her birthday wishes came via Facebook and when she herself failed to wish a friend happy birthday because she was sick for a few days and neglected to log in to Facebook and see the birthday reminder.
It was important to eliminate her birthday while she was still 38 years, Ramsey decided, because trying to pass off her age as 39 years for a prolonged period of time would naturally arouse suspicion.
While her close friends might potentially have her birthday written down somewhere or even know her birthday from memory, Ramsey said it was easy to keep casual friends and acquaintances from knowing her true birthday by always telling them that her birthday was six months off from whatever the current month was. That way, they didn't usually press her on a specific date, and anyway, everyone assumed that she would have it on Facebook.
Ramsey admitted that there was a downside to not aging. "I was a little bummed that I had to eat my birthday cake alone. And last year eight people sent me virtual cakes, but I actually didn't miss those that much."
Ramsey's childhood friend, Samantha Anderson, was surprised and mildly chagrined when told of the missed birthday. "I knew it was around now because it always came about a month after we started school and five weeks before Halloween."
"I don't know how people remembered pre-Facebook. Of course in the olden days people didn't have 600 friends so it was a lot easier," Anderson added defensively.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Joe the Plumber Changes Professions, Goes Hollywood
The man whose name became synonymous with his profession during the 2008 presidential election is trying to change jobs, and with it, his identity.
A former plumber, Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher shot to fame during the final presidential debate between then Sens. John McCain, R-Ariz., and Barack Obama, D-Ill., after McCain repeatedly referenced "Joe the Plumber" in discussing how Obama's tax proposal would affect small businesses. Three days prior, Wurzelbacher had been expressed his concern about Obama's tax plan, an exchange that was caught by ABC News.
Wurzelbacher said that becoming known as "Joe the Plumber" was in one sense liberating because no one could ever pronounce his last name and frequently thought it was "wienerschnitzel," an Austrian dish consisting of a boneless cutlet as well as a popular U.S. hot dog chain. But the former blue collar worker-turned-political symbol said that such an identifier was outdated since he has not picked up a pipe wrench or charged anyone $100 to remove a hairball in nearly a year.
However, the man formerly known as "Joe the Plumber" may run into some difficulty in gaining widespread acceptance of his new name: "Joe the Thespian." Wurzelbacher said that he had acted in several productions in high school with the highlight being his portrayal of the character Reverend John Hale in The Crucible.
When asked to comment on Wurzelbacher's acting skills, high school drama teacher Penelope Mackerby said that he had delivered his lines "awkwardly but with great gusto."
Acting skills notwithstanding, Wurzelbacher's conservative affiliation isn't likely to go over well in Hollywood, though his commercial potential may yield leads. His agent, Matthew Roman, admitted that he hadn't had any success in getting an audition for his client until he added a Post-it to the headshot saying "Joe the Thespian -- formerly known as Joe the Plumber."
"The curiosity factor alone is usually enough for an audition," he said. "And we've got some pretty good leads -- ABC wants him for an after school special Obama biopic and NBC has contacted us about having him do a cameo on Saturday Night Live."
When a reporter pointed out that in both roles Wurzelbacher would be playing himself -- or rather his Joe the Plumber self -- Roman said that his client was willing to do so in order to get his foot in the door.
"He's a natural and he has great range. Joe has lots of good ideas about other parts he can play, like Popeye," Roman said. His 'I yam what I yam' is dead on and he's been practicing speed eating spinach."
A former plumber, Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher shot to fame during the final presidential debate between then Sens. John McCain, R-Ariz., and Barack Obama, D-Ill., after McCain repeatedly referenced "Joe the Plumber" in discussing how Obama's tax proposal would affect small businesses. Three days prior, Wurzelbacher had been expressed his concern about Obama's tax plan, an exchange that was caught by ABC News.
Wurzelbacher said that becoming known as "Joe the Plumber" was in one sense liberating because no one could ever pronounce his last name and frequently thought it was "wienerschnitzel," an Austrian dish consisting of a boneless cutlet as well as a popular U.S. hot dog chain. But the former blue collar worker-turned-political symbol said that such an identifier was outdated since he has not picked up a pipe wrench or charged anyone $100 to remove a hairball in nearly a year.
However, the man formerly known as "Joe the Plumber" may run into some difficulty in gaining widespread acceptance of his new name: "Joe the Thespian." Wurzelbacher said that he had acted in several productions in high school with the highlight being his portrayal of the character Reverend John Hale in The Crucible.
When asked to comment on Wurzelbacher's acting skills, high school drama teacher Penelope Mackerby said that he had delivered his lines "awkwardly but with great gusto."
Acting skills notwithstanding, Wurzelbacher's conservative affiliation isn't likely to go over well in Hollywood, though his commercial potential may yield leads. His agent, Matthew Roman, admitted that he hadn't had any success in getting an audition for his client until he added a Post-it to the headshot saying "Joe the Thespian -- formerly known as Joe the Plumber."
"The curiosity factor alone is usually enough for an audition," he said. "And we've got some pretty good leads -- ABC wants him for an after school special Obama biopic and NBC has contacted us about having him do a cameo on Saturday Night Live."
When a reporter pointed out that in both roles Wurzelbacher would be playing himself -- or rather his Joe the Plumber self -- Roman said that his client was willing to do so in order to get his foot in the door.
"He's a natural and he has great range. Joe has lots of good ideas about other parts he can play, like Popeye," Roman said. His 'I yam what I yam' is dead on and he's been practicing speed eating spinach."
Wilson Claims He Fought to Get MLK Day Recognized as State Holiday
COLUMBIA, S.C. – Seeking to discredit criticism that he is racially insensitive, Rep. Joe Wilson on Tuesday cited his efforts as a state legislator to get Martin Luther King Jr. Day recognized as an official South Carolina state holiday.
“I revere the man. I think of him as a spiritual brother,” Wilson said. “It seemed only right that his birthday be recognized by the state and I worked with his family to make that happen.”
Wilson has come under attack from former President Jimmy Carter, among others, for yelling “You lie!” during President Obama’s recent speech on health care. Carter said that Wilson’s outburst was “based on racism.”
On May 2, 2000, South Carolina became the last state to make the late civil rights leader’s birthday an official state holiday. Wilson served in the state Senate then, though at the time he had begun his campaign for his current seat representing South Carolina in the U.S. Congress.
Prior to enactment of the 2000 legislation, state employees had the choice of celebrating Martin Luther King Day or one of three Confederate-related holidays. The legislation struck the birthdays of Confederate Army General Robert E. Lee and Jefferson Davis, President of the Confederate States of America from 1861 to 1865. However, in making King’s birthday an official state holiday, it also created another official state holiday on May 10 — Confederate Memorial Day.
Wilson’s claim that he spearheaded the effort to have King’s birthday recognized was treated with disbelief, and even laughter, by friends and critics alike. A friend of Wilson’s from his state legislature days said that it’s possible Wilson had confused his support for the two days. “Sure as hell he supported Confederate Memorial Day. As for MLK Day, I think his view was more, well, let’s just say it was a compromise.”
When asked for comment about Wilson’s claim, Martin Luther King III, son of King, said with incredulity, “Are you talking about the Joe Wilson that voted to keep the Confederate flag flying above the state house? The one who revered segregationist Strom Thurmond and said that Essie Mae Washington-Williams should have never come forth and said that she was his daughter? That yelled “You lie!” at the country’s first African-American president? Or are you talking about the one whose wife [Valerie Plame] is a spy? It doesn’t matter though, because I never met either, though if I ever met the former I might have to rethink the whole non-violence thing.”
Dexter King, another son of the civil rights icon, replied in an E-mail, “As you know, I am currently in litigation with my brother, Martin, and Bernice King over stewardship of my father’s estate. Nonetheless, I am in full agreement that Joe Wilson never did any sort of outreach to us. I reckon the only ‘brothers’ he has are those he got drunk with at his fraternity.”
King concluded, “By the way, I should remind you that if you choose to air or print my father’s ‘I Have a Dream” speech or engage in any other such unauthorized use of his image or writings we WILL sue. It’s copyrighted. Dexter, Bernice and I agree on that too.”
In fact, one of Wilson’s fraternity brothers from his undergraduate days at Washington and Lee said that suggestions that Wilson is racially insensitive were unmerited. “He was the only one in the Sigma Nu fraternity who wanted to hire a black guy to tend the bar,” said Jackson Horace Smithfield. “Of course, we could hire them for cheaper, so it may have been more a sign of his fiscal restraint even back then.”
Wilson’s claim of having worked with the King family to establish the state holiday is the second time in two weeks that he has been rebuffed. Last week, Wilson cited as evidence of a long friendship with Rep. Jim Clyburn, dean of the South Carolina delegation, his 1998 vote for Mignon Clyburn for state Public Service Commission. Clyburn, the Majority Whip, is the highest ranking African-American in the House and he represents an adjoining district. However, as pointed out by Roll Call, a Capitol Hill publication, Wilson actually voted against Mignon Clyburn’s appointment.
When told of King’s children’s remarks that he had not worked with them to secure the holiday, Wilson said that honestly believed he had and that his memory must have failed him. “I will say that I have always given my congressional staff that day off,” Wilson said, ignoring or oblivious to to the fact that the day is a mandated federal holiday.
Wilson then began absentmindedly humming “Dixie,” the de facto anthem of the Confederacy, until he spotted an aide’s stricken face and changed to “We Shall Overcome.”
This article can also be found at thediscust.com
“I revere the man. I think of him as a spiritual brother,” Wilson said. “It seemed only right that his birthday be recognized by the state and I worked with his family to make that happen.”
Wilson has come under attack from former President Jimmy Carter, among others, for yelling “You lie!” during President Obama’s recent speech on health care. Carter said that Wilson’s outburst was “based on racism.”
On May 2, 2000, South Carolina became the last state to make the late civil rights leader’s birthday an official state holiday. Wilson served in the state Senate then, though at the time he had begun his campaign for his current seat representing South Carolina in the U.S. Congress.
Prior to enactment of the 2000 legislation, state employees had the choice of celebrating Martin Luther King Day or one of three Confederate-related holidays. The legislation struck the birthdays of Confederate Army General Robert E. Lee and Jefferson Davis, President of the Confederate States of America from 1861 to 1865. However, in making King’s birthday an official state holiday, it also created another official state holiday on May 10 — Confederate Memorial Day.
Wilson’s claim that he spearheaded the effort to have King’s birthday recognized was treated with disbelief, and even laughter, by friends and critics alike. A friend of Wilson’s from his state legislature days said that it’s possible Wilson had confused his support for the two days. “Sure as hell he supported Confederate Memorial Day. As for MLK Day, I think his view was more, well, let’s just say it was a compromise.”
When asked for comment about Wilson’s claim, Martin Luther King III, son of King, said with incredulity, “Are you talking about the Joe Wilson that voted to keep the Confederate flag flying above the state house? The one who revered segregationist Strom Thurmond and said that Essie Mae Washington-Williams should have never come forth and said that she was his daughter? That yelled “You lie!” at the country’s first African-American president? Or are you talking about the one whose wife [Valerie Plame] is a spy? It doesn’t matter though, because I never met either, though if I ever met the former I might have to rethink the whole non-violence thing.”
Dexter King, another son of the civil rights icon, replied in an E-mail, “As you know, I am currently in litigation with my brother, Martin, and Bernice King over stewardship of my father’s estate. Nonetheless, I am in full agreement that Joe Wilson never did any sort of outreach to us. I reckon the only ‘brothers’ he has are those he got drunk with at his fraternity.”
King concluded, “By the way, I should remind you that if you choose to air or print my father’s ‘I Have a Dream” speech or engage in any other such unauthorized use of his image or writings we WILL sue. It’s copyrighted. Dexter, Bernice and I agree on that too.”
In fact, one of Wilson’s fraternity brothers from his undergraduate days at Washington and Lee said that suggestions that Wilson is racially insensitive were unmerited. “He was the only one in the Sigma Nu fraternity who wanted to hire a black guy to tend the bar,” said Jackson Horace Smithfield. “Of course, we could hire them for cheaper, so it may have been more a sign of his fiscal restraint even back then.”
Wilson’s claim of having worked with the King family to establish the state holiday is the second time in two weeks that he has been rebuffed. Last week, Wilson cited as evidence of a long friendship with Rep. Jim Clyburn, dean of the South Carolina delegation, his 1998 vote for Mignon Clyburn for state Public Service Commission. Clyburn, the Majority Whip, is the highest ranking African-American in the House and he represents an adjoining district. However, as pointed out by Roll Call, a Capitol Hill publication, Wilson actually voted against Mignon Clyburn’s appointment.
When told of King’s children’s remarks that he had not worked with them to secure the holiday, Wilson said that honestly believed he had and that his memory must have failed him. “I will say that I have always given my congressional staff that day off,” Wilson said, ignoring or oblivious to to the fact that the day is a mandated federal holiday.
Wilson then began absentmindedly humming “Dixie,” the de facto anthem of the Confederacy, until he spotted an aide’s stricken face and changed to “We Shall Overcome.”
This article can also be found at thediscust.com
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Fox to Debut Divorce Reality TV Show
The network that has managed to construct more fake prime time romances than any other will have a new spin this fall: a reality TV show about divorce.
Twelve squabbling couples will compete to have the most acrimonious divorce, with serial celebrity divorcee guest judges such as Liza Minnelli, who has married and divorced four times, providing commentary. The winners (or losers, depending on one's perspective) will be determined by nationwide vote.
Contestants will be judged on such factors as who has the nastier divorce lawyer, the role of infidelity, physical altercations, whether spouses are able to finagle their way out of prenuptial agreements and custodial agreements. The children of the bickering couple will be interviewed on the latter point to determine the emotional harm that has been caused by the divorce.
A Fox spokesman denied that the show was in any way exploitative of minors, saying that the interviews would be conducted by a trained psychiatrist "so it's actually free therapy."
Other actions that could lead to high vote tallies include dumping the spouse's clothing on the lawn, hacking into their e-mail accounts, authoring biting Facebook updates and getting all the mutual friends to shun the husband or wife.
The Fox spokesman said that part of the inspiration for the show came from Jon & Kate Plus 8, a reality TV show about Jon and Kate Gosselin and their eight children. Interest in the show peaked after they announced they would be divorcing.
In addition to Minnelli, Denise Richards is a rumored guest judge. Richards had an intensely public divorce with Charlie Sheen and had an E! reality TV show called "It's Complicated." Elizabeth Taylor and Larry King -- both of who have been married eight times to seven people -- "are our dream judges but they declined to participate," said the spokesman. "Maybe next year."
The couple determined to have the most acrimonious divorce will have their lawyer's fees paid by the network.
Twelve squabbling couples will compete to have the most acrimonious divorce, with serial celebrity divorcee guest judges such as Liza Minnelli, who has married and divorced four times, providing commentary. The winners (or losers, depending on one's perspective) will be determined by nationwide vote.
Contestants will be judged on such factors as who has the nastier divorce lawyer, the role of infidelity, physical altercations, whether spouses are able to finagle their way out of prenuptial agreements and custodial agreements. The children of the bickering couple will be interviewed on the latter point to determine the emotional harm that has been caused by the divorce.
A Fox spokesman denied that the show was in any way exploitative of minors, saying that the interviews would be conducted by a trained psychiatrist "so it's actually free therapy."
Other actions that could lead to high vote tallies include dumping the spouse's clothing on the lawn, hacking into their e-mail accounts, authoring biting Facebook updates and getting all the mutual friends to shun the husband or wife.
The Fox spokesman said that part of the inspiration for the show came from Jon & Kate Plus 8, a reality TV show about Jon and Kate Gosselin and their eight children. Interest in the show peaked after they announced they would be divorcing.
In addition to Minnelli, Denise Richards is a rumored guest judge. Richards had an intensely public divorce with Charlie Sheen and had an E! reality TV show called "It's Complicated." Elizabeth Taylor and Larry King -- both of who have been married eight times to seven people -- "are our dream judges but they declined to participate," said the spokesman. "Maybe next year."
The couple determined to have the most acrimonious divorce will have their lawyer's fees paid by the network.
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Anti-Big Government Protestors Protest Lack of Portable Toilets
WASHINGTON D.C. -- After three hours of marching, chanting anti-tax slogans and singing "God Bless America" Lewis Able Martin II of McClellanville, S.C., was hoarse and thirsty. So Martin chugged a two liter bottle of Coca Cola, which sated his thirst but led to an even more pressing issue: the need for relief.
Unfortunately for Martin, there are scant toilet facilities available on the National Mall. Martin's wife, Glory Lee Martin, had ducked into the Natural History Museum earlier in the day but the line for the popular museum -- as well as the ones closer to the east side of the Capitol, where the protestors had converged -- had grown to over 10 minutes. Martin didn't want to leave the march for that long for fear of missing his home state senator, Jim DeMint, speak.
Ms. Martin hadn't known where to find a toilet until she asked a National Park Service police officer, who politely suggested she try the nearby museum, which offers free admission. Asked why she was attending the protest, she said that she and her husband were protesting "waste, fraud, abuse and the millions of useless government bureaucrats wasting my hard-earned, illegitimately seized money."
When a reporter pointed out that the police officer's salary was paid for by federal government funds, Martin replied begrudgingly, "One good apple in a barrel of rotten ones doesn't make them all good."
Mr. Martin said that if there had been enough portable toilets provided the crisis would have been averted. "They hauled in a million port-a-potties for the inauguration of Parasite-in-Chief Obama," Martin said. "They should at least do the same for us patriots."
In fact, the Presidential Inaugural Committee paid for the 5,000 portable toilets set up for Obama's inauguration.
Martin -- before he stumbled off with a pained look and awkward gait -- said that he would be writing a letter of protest to DeMint, as well as his representative, Henry E. Brown Jr., also a Republican.
Unfortunately for Martin, there are scant toilet facilities available on the National Mall. Martin's wife, Glory Lee Martin, had ducked into the Natural History Museum earlier in the day but the line for the popular museum -- as well as the ones closer to the east side of the Capitol, where the protestors had converged -- had grown to over 10 minutes. Martin didn't want to leave the march for that long for fear of missing his home state senator, Jim DeMint, speak.
Ms. Martin hadn't known where to find a toilet until she asked a National Park Service police officer, who politely suggested she try the nearby museum, which offers free admission. Asked why she was attending the protest, she said that she and her husband were protesting "waste, fraud, abuse and the millions of useless government bureaucrats wasting my hard-earned, illegitimately seized money."
When a reporter pointed out that the police officer's salary was paid for by federal government funds, Martin replied begrudgingly, "One good apple in a barrel of rotten ones doesn't make them all good."
Mr. Martin said that if there had been enough portable toilets provided the crisis would have been averted. "They hauled in a million port-a-potties for the inauguration of Parasite-in-Chief Obama," Martin said. "They should at least do the same for us patriots."
In fact, the Presidential Inaugural Committee paid for the 5,000 portable toilets set up for Obama's inauguration.
Martin -- before he stumbled off with a pained look and awkward gait -- said that he would be writing a letter of protest to DeMint, as well as his representative, Henry E. Brown Jr., also a Republican.
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