Google Buzz Reveals Man has Lame Social Life

NEW YORK -- Most of the buzz around Google's latest social networking innovation has involved concern over the publicizing of people's frequent contacts -- and resulting potential to reveal liaisons with mistresses or interviews with rival companies.

But one man's worst fears were realized when Google Buzz revealed that the man's supposedly sizzling social life was a total fraud. According to his snickering co-worker, the man had always boasted of his exciting weekends filled with booze, sex and multiple hot women.

"[Greg] would come back on Monday morning with stories of slurping oysters off naked women at exclusive night clubs and other crazy stuff," said the co-worker. "He's kind of a plain guy, but we figured he must be sexual napalm in bed or have some ridiculous trust fund that let him jet to St. Lucia for the weekend."

However, when Google Buzz debuted last week, everyone at the office was wondering how it worked and they clustered around "Greg's" computer screen to observe. His most frequent contacts, as measured by the contacts that he was automatically assigned to follow, were revealed to be a pizza delivery service, movie and video game rentals, 1-900-HOT-GURLZ -- "Your wildest fantasies from the comfort of your home," and his mother.

"It was really awkward," said the co-worker. "Greg turned bright red and made some joke about how his account had been used by his teenage nephew when he was visiting, but he was obviously obviously lying."

Aside from some mild ribbing, the co-worker said they had not called "Greg" out on his tall tales. "But I threw out the napkin that supposedly had Bar Rafaeli's lipstick that he gave me for my birthday," he said. "Just the thought that I've been sleeping with a dirty napkin under my pillow that has Greg's lipstick kiss gives me the willies."