All attention has turned to Martha's Vineyard in anticipation of President Obama's vacation next week and the rumored upcoming nuptials of Chelsea Clinton. But the former first daughter will actually be taking out-of-this world measures to ensure a private wedding: she will be getting married in space, according to a high ranking NASA astronaut who asked not to be named because he did not want to compromise his future flight chances.
Clinton has been dating Goldman Sachs banker Marc Mezvinsky, the daughter of Edward Mezvinsky and Marjorie Margolies Mezvinsky, both former members of Congress. Although neither have confirmed that they are even engaged that has not quelled rumors that they will soon be tying the knot.
It had been rumored that the wedding would take place at the estate of family friends Vernon Jordan or Ted Dansen and Mary Steenburgen. But the astronaut said that Chelsea and Marc will be blasting off on August 25. NASA lists the purpose of the flight as "carry[ing] experiment and storage racks to the International Space Station."
A NASA contractor with no knowledge of the nuptials said that the cost of such a flight could easily run to half a billion dollars.
As such, the flight will not solely be used for the wedding; although the Clintons are reportedly paying $10 million each for Chelsea and Marc's fare.
"It's a lot to pay but they said it was worth it to be able to ensure Chelsea's privacy," said the astronaut. Bill and Hillary Clinton have always taken great care to shield their only daughter from the spotlight. Chelsea was just 12 years old when she moved into the White House.
"She's had to put up with a lot being their daughter. She deserves this perk. Nobody else can say they honeymooned in space," the astronaut said.
The flight is scheduled to return Sept. 6.
Spokespeople for Clinton's parents have denied that any wedding is taking place, "at Martha's Vineyard or on the moon." As usual, Clinton's representative declined to comment.
Due to the logistical impossibility of a secretary of State and a former president traveling to Florida without raising suspicion, no family members will be present at the wedding. One of the astronauts will serve as officiant and the remaining crew will be witnesses. All members of the flight have signed nondisclosure agreements under penalty of permanent exile to space.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Usain Bolt Drops Out of 200, Cites Lack of Practice for Victory Dance
BERLIN -- Jamaican sprinting sensation Usain Bolt announced Monday that he was dropping out of the 200 meter race because he had not spent enough time practicing his pre- and post-victory dance.
Bolt sealed his reputation as the fastest man in the world Sunday with a new world record of 9.58 seconds in the 100 meter dash, breaking the previous record of 9.69 seconds he set during the Beijing Olympics last year. He was widely regarded as the favorite for the 200.
But even though Bolt's astonishing running prowess has won him numerous medals, it is his pre-race preening and post-race celebrations that have earned him mega-celebrity attention. Bolt's "lighting bolt" pose has become his signature, and he makes it at every race. Onlookers marveled at his chest thumping at Beijing before he even crossed the finish line in the 100 meter finals.
On Sunday, Bolt continued to run after crossing the finish line, lifting his arms as though soaring through the air. He and fellow Jamaican Asafa Powell, who placed third, later did an Irish step dance for the cameras. Bolt reportedly took private lessons from Michael Flatley to prepare the Irish jig.
Powell, who has been consistently overshadowed by his faster and more extroverted teammate, also tried to up his showmanship Sunday by taping his number six lane number over his mouth prior to the race.
Bolt's non-participation in the 200 is sure to disappoint, but he said that he took his role as an showboating superstar seriously. Although Bolt does not describe his antics before the race a friend close to him said that he had been practicing his moonwalk as an ode to Michael Jackson, but that a foot injury sustained from a car accident earlier this year prevented him from perfecting it. That injury has also hampered his training for the 200 but the friend said that was not the issue.
"He could win the 200, no problem," said the friend. "But he's not just going to go out there and make a fool of himself by walking backwards awkwardly. The world record will always be there for him to beat, but he only gets one chance to debut his moonwalk."
Bolt sealed his reputation as the fastest man in the world Sunday with a new world record of 9.58 seconds in the 100 meter dash, breaking the previous record of 9.69 seconds he set during the Beijing Olympics last year. He was widely regarded as the favorite for the 200.
But even though Bolt's astonishing running prowess has won him numerous medals, it is his pre-race preening and post-race celebrations that have earned him mega-celebrity attention. Bolt's "lighting bolt" pose has become his signature, and he makes it at every race. Onlookers marveled at his chest thumping at Beijing before he even crossed the finish line in the 100 meter finals.
On Sunday, Bolt continued to run after crossing the finish line, lifting his arms as though soaring through the air. He and fellow Jamaican Asafa Powell, who placed third, later did an Irish step dance for the cameras. Bolt reportedly took private lessons from Michael Flatley to prepare the Irish jig.
Powell, who has been consistently overshadowed by his faster and more extroverted teammate, also tried to up his showmanship Sunday by taping his number six lane number over his mouth prior to the race.
Bolt's non-participation in the 200 is sure to disappoint, but he said that he took his role as an showboating superstar seriously. Although Bolt does not describe his antics before the race a friend close to him said that he had been practicing his moonwalk as an ode to Michael Jackson, but that a foot injury sustained from a car accident earlier this year prevented him from perfecting it. That injury has also hampered his training for the 200 but the friend said that was not the issue.
"He could win the 200, no problem," said the friend. "But he's not just going to go out there and make a fool of himself by walking backwards awkwardly. The world record will always be there for him to beat, but he only gets one chance to debut his moonwalk."
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Yuppie Boycotts Whole Foods, Forced to Save Money By Buying Conventional Produce
SANTA MONICA, CA -- Health conscious, liberal, well-to-do food shoppers are showing their displeasure by going conventional.
Jerry Hackleberry, an environmental lawyer, was infuriated by an Op-ed penned by the CEO of Whole Foods on the topic of health care reform that criticized President Obama's plan. So he is showing his displeasure with his black card from American Express.
Typically a thrice-weekly Whole Foods shopper, Hackleberry has vowed to boycott the high-end grocery store known for carrying costly and organic foods until Whole Foods CEO and co-founder John Mackey is fired or recants. After skipping his usual Thursday grocery run, Hackleberry was forced to shop at Ralph's on Friday.
Hackleberry said he was shocked to encounter grapes for $.99 per pound and dismayed that organic grapes -- for which he typically pays $3.99 per pound at Whole Foods -- were not available. "The pesticides will be ruinous, but that's just a sacrifice I have to make," he said. "I'm going to try to compensate with extra yoga, acupuncture and meditation."
Also in Hackleberry's reuseable cloth bag were $.99 per pound peaches and Alta Dena milk, since they were out of his favored organic Horizon brand. Ralph's selection of organic eggs is not as extensive as Whole Foods but he was at least able to get vegetarian, free range brown eggs. But Hackleberry couldn't bring himself to buy non-organic meat. "$2.99 per pound for ground beef?" he noted skeptically, as he loaded his groceries into his Prius. "Something's very wrong with that. I never pay less than $6.99, even on sale."
In addition to engaging in a strident monologue with a Whole Foods checker earlier this week in which he lambasted the bewildered high school senior for Mackey's stance on health care, Hackleberry has also written letters to the editor of the Santa Monica Daily Press and Santa Monica Mirror.
He also intends to donate the approximately $150 in weekly savings from not shopping at Whole Foods to Democracy for America, a progressive group supporting health care reform.
Jerry Hackleberry, an environmental lawyer, was infuriated by an Op-ed penned by the CEO of Whole Foods on the topic of health care reform that criticized President Obama's plan. So he is showing his displeasure with his black card from American Express.
Typically a thrice-weekly Whole Foods shopper, Hackleberry has vowed to boycott the high-end grocery store known for carrying costly and organic foods until Whole Foods CEO and co-founder John Mackey is fired or recants. After skipping his usual Thursday grocery run, Hackleberry was forced to shop at Ralph's on Friday.
Hackleberry said he was shocked to encounter grapes for $.99 per pound and dismayed that organic grapes -- for which he typically pays $3.99 per pound at Whole Foods -- were not available. "The pesticides will be ruinous, but that's just a sacrifice I have to make," he said. "I'm going to try to compensate with extra yoga, acupuncture and meditation."
Also in Hackleberry's reuseable cloth bag were $.99 per pound peaches and Alta Dena milk, since they were out of his favored organic Horizon brand. Ralph's selection of organic eggs is not as extensive as Whole Foods but he was at least able to get vegetarian, free range brown eggs. But Hackleberry couldn't bring himself to buy non-organic meat. "$2.99 per pound for ground beef?" he noted skeptically, as he loaded his groceries into his Prius. "Something's very wrong with that. I never pay less than $6.99, even on sale."
In addition to engaging in a strident monologue with a Whole Foods checker earlier this week in which he lambasted the bewildered high school senior for Mackey's stance on health care, Hackleberry has also written letters to the editor of the Santa Monica Daily Press and Santa Monica Mirror.
He also intends to donate the approximately $150 in weekly savings from not shopping at Whole Foods to Democracy for America, a progressive group supporting health care reform.
Friday, August 14, 2009
'Squeaky' Fromme Invited to Town Hall
Lynette "Squeaky" Fromme, failed assassin of President Gerald Ford, was released Thursday from prison after 34 years behind bars.
Upon her release, Fromme initially said that she was going to Disneyland. But in the time it would theoretically take for a lawyer to call her lawyer and offer an undisclosed settlement to never say that again or to visit the park, Fromme recanted.
A native Californian, Fromme was arrested on Sept. 5, 1975, at Capitol Park in Sacramento. She pointed a .45 Colt semi-automatic pistol at Ford. Although the pistol's magazine was loaded with four rounds the firing chamber itself was empty.
Concerns that she would be shunned by the everyone turned out to be unwarranted, however. Fromme said that a number of Second Amendment defenders have reached out to her and invited her to join them in attending town hall health care meetings.
Fromme, who has not been following the news, said that she was a little overwhelmed by the outpouring of invitations but that she would consider attending. Her lawyer quickly added that her presence -- as a former would-be assassin and follower of Charles Manson -- was in no way meant to be construed as coercive or intimidating to the politicians holding the events or the other people attending the town halls.
Upon her release, Fromme initially said that she was going to Disneyland. But in the time it would theoretically take for a lawyer to call her lawyer and offer an undisclosed settlement to never say that again or to visit the park, Fromme recanted.
A native Californian, Fromme was arrested on Sept. 5, 1975, at Capitol Park in Sacramento. She pointed a .45 Colt semi-automatic pistol at Ford. Although the pistol's magazine was loaded with four rounds the firing chamber itself was empty.
Concerns that she would be shunned by the everyone turned out to be unwarranted, however. Fromme said that a number of Second Amendment defenders have reached out to her and invited her to join them in attending town hall health care meetings.
Fromme, who has not been following the news, said that she was a little overwhelmed by the outpouring of invitations but that she would consider attending. Her lawyer quickly added that her presence -- as a former would-be assassin and follower of Charles Manson -- was in no way meant to be construed as coercive or intimidating to the politicians holding the events or the other people attending the town halls.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
FDA Cites Eyelash Lengthener as Progress in Drug Approval Process
Stung by criticism that drugs are not making it to the marketplace fast enough, the Food and Drug Administration on Monday cited the speedy approval of Latisse, a drug that leads to fuller, longer eyelashes.
The drug was originally sold as a glaucoma drug. But one of the side effects is that it leads to additional eyelash growth. In a release, the FDA noted its "swift action" in making available an "essential drug for the millions of women who suffer from overly short or thin eyelashes."
Allergan, the maker of Latisse as well as Botox, the wrinkle-reducing drug favored by celebrities and others seeking to remove evidence of aging past adolescence, echoed the FDA's sentiments. "No longer will that delicate area beneath the eye be unshaded from the sun," said Allergen president of research and development Sam Winters in a statement.
Although Botox lacks an official celebrity endorser, Brooke Shields has signed on to endorse Latisse.
Some skeptics have questioned the need for a drug whose primary purpose is cosmetic, undereye shade coverage notwithstanding. They cite drugs to fight cancer and AIDS as being more pressing medical priorities that the FDA should direct its resources towards. But Allergan has insisted that its drug fills an important societal need.
"It's a shame that Tammy Faye Bakker was never able to benefit from Latisse," Winters said, referring to the Christian singer, television personality and ex-wife of disgraced televangalist Jim Bakker known for her false eyelashes and heavy mascara. "But at least now millions of every day women like Brooke Shields can now benefit from this groundbreaking drug."
The drug was originally sold as a glaucoma drug. But one of the side effects is that it leads to additional eyelash growth. In a release, the FDA noted its "swift action" in making available an "essential drug for the millions of women who suffer from overly short or thin eyelashes."
Allergan, the maker of Latisse as well as Botox, the wrinkle-reducing drug favored by celebrities and others seeking to remove evidence of aging past adolescence, echoed the FDA's sentiments. "No longer will that delicate area beneath the eye be unshaded from the sun," said Allergen president of research and development Sam Winters in a statement.
Although Botox lacks an official celebrity endorser, Brooke Shields has signed on to endorse Latisse.
Some skeptics have questioned the need for a drug whose primary purpose is cosmetic, undereye shade coverage notwithstanding. They cite drugs to fight cancer and AIDS as being more pressing medical priorities that the FDA should direct its resources towards. But Allergan has insisted that its drug fills an important societal need.
"It's a shame that Tammy Faye Bakker was never able to benefit from Latisse," Winters said, referring to the Christian singer, television personality and ex-wife of disgraced televangalist Jim Bakker known for her false eyelashes and heavy mascara. "But at least now millions of every day women like Brooke Shields can now benefit from this groundbreaking drug."
Aung San Suu Kyi Cited In Contempt of Court for Sneezing
RANGOON, MYANMAR -- Pro-democracy leader Daw Aung San Suu Kyi was sentenced to an additional year of house arrest Tuesday for sneezing during her sentencing.
Suu Kyi had received three years of hard labor for an unusual incident in which an American, John Yettaw, swam across a lake to her villa. She allowed Yettaw to spend a couple days at her house after he claimed exhaustion. The military junta found her guilty of violating her house arrest, even though she did not at any point actually leave her house.
Perhaps anticipating the vociferous criticism such a sentence would evoke, the leader of the military junta reduced Aung San Suu Kyi's sentence to 18 months and changed it to house arrest. But during the reading of the reduced sentence, Suu Kyi sneezed, causing the judge to declare her in contempt of the court.
Suu Kyi's lawyers tried to claim that she had gotten a cold after living in less-than-ideal conditions in prison for the past three months, but they were ruled out of order.
She has been been under house arrest for 14 of the past 20 years. Her crimes include winning a 1990 election for prime minister.
The Burmese government issued a statement in defense of the additional year of house arrest. "Contrary to claims that this is a 'koala court' Ms. Aung San Suu Kyi received a full and fair trial," the release said, apparently confusing the koala with Australia's other well-known marsupial animal, the kangaroo. "Such an obvious display of contempt could have qualified her for five year's of hard labor so the court displayed extraordinary generosity by only giving her one year in the luxury of her house."
Suu Kyi had received three years of hard labor for an unusual incident in which an American, John Yettaw, swam across a lake to her villa. She allowed Yettaw to spend a couple days at her house after he claimed exhaustion. The military junta found her guilty of violating her house arrest, even though she did not at any point actually leave her house.
Perhaps anticipating the vociferous criticism such a sentence would evoke, the leader of the military junta reduced Aung San Suu Kyi's sentence to 18 months and changed it to house arrest. But during the reading of the reduced sentence, Suu Kyi sneezed, causing the judge to declare her in contempt of the court.
Suu Kyi's lawyers tried to claim that she had gotten a cold after living in less-than-ideal conditions in prison for the past three months, but they were ruled out of order.
She has been been under house arrest for 14 of the past 20 years. Her crimes include winning a 1990 election for prime minister.
The Burmese government issued a statement in defense of the additional year of house arrest. "Contrary to claims that this is a 'koala court' Ms. Aung San Suu Kyi received a full and fair trial," the release said, apparently confusing the koala with Australia's other well-known marsupial animal, the kangaroo. "Such an obvious display of contempt could have qualified her for five year's of hard labor so the court displayed extraordinary generosity by only giving her one year in the luxury of her house."
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Popular New Diet Relies on Different Color Each Day
A new diet sweeping through Hollywood circles relies on eating only one or two colors of food each day depending on the day of the week. Such celebrities as Jennifer Anniston and Gwyneth Paltrow have reportedly maintained their trim figures by adhering to what is being called the "Color Wheel" diet.
Red foods are reserved for Monday, followed by orange on Tuesday, yellow on Wednesday, green on Thursday, blue or purple on Friday, brown or black on Saturday and white on Sunday.
"It's easy to remember and it means my clients don't need to deny themselves anything for longer than six days," said celebrity nutritionist Alexis Chamoff. "It's tastier than macrobiotic or vegan and lets you have more carbs than the Zone or South Beach."
Part of reason that the diet keeps the pounds off, Chamoff added, is that most people can eat only so much orange, carrot and pumpkin in one day before they decide to just stop eating. In addition, the color of the food must be natural and not involve excessive food dyes, thus eliminating most junk foods. The most popular day is Saturday, when steaks, peanut butter and chocolate are permitted as part of brown/black day. One of the more challenging days is Friday, when eggplant, grapes and plums constitute the bulk of blue and purple food consumed.
Celebrity restaurants are catering to their clients by having specials that coincide with the color wheel. Wolfgang Puck's Cut steakhouse, located in Beverly Hills, has always been popular for its Kobe beef. But it is also getting raves for its newly added menu items, like lemon served five ways (sorbet, curd, jam, souffle and candied) and three course pre-fixe "snowscape" of jicama and white asparagus salad, halibut with mashed potatoes and coconut trifle.
Chamoff, who claims credit for the diet, says that a book will be forthcoming with a preface written by Madonna. Kirstie Alley, who previously served as a spokeswoman for Jenny Craig, has expressed interest in taking on a similar role for the Color Wheel.
Red foods are reserved for Monday, followed by orange on Tuesday, yellow on Wednesday, green on Thursday, blue or purple on Friday, brown or black on Saturday and white on Sunday.
"It's easy to remember and it means my clients don't need to deny themselves anything for longer than six days," said celebrity nutritionist Alexis Chamoff. "It's tastier than macrobiotic or vegan and lets you have more carbs than the Zone or South Beach."
Part of reason that the diet keeps the pounds off, Chamoff added, is that most people can eat only so much orange, carrot and pumpkin in one day before they decide to just stop eating. In addition, the color of the food must be natural and not involve excessive food dyes, thus eliminating most junk foods. The most popular day is Saturday, when steaks, peanut butter and chocolate are permitted as part of brown/black day. One of the more challenging days is Friday, when eggplant, grapes and plums constitute the bulk of blue and purple food consumed.
Celebrity restaurants are catering to their clients by having specials that coincide with the color wheel. Wolfgang Puck's Cut steakhouse, located in Beverly Hills, has always been popular for its Kobe beef. But it is also getting raves for its newly added menu items, like lemon served five ways (sorbet, curd, jam, souffle and candied) and three course pre-fixe "snowscape" of jicama and white asparagus salad, halibut with mashed potatoes and coconut trifle.
Chamoff, who claims credit for the diet, says that a book will be forthcoming with a preface written by Madonna. Kirstie Alley, who previously served as a spokeswoman for Jenny Craig, has expressed interest in taking on a similar role for the Color Wheel.
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